To understand the SoulBonding (SBing) phenomenon as I experience it, one has to first accept the premise that those we consider fictional characters actually exist in another dimension or alternate timeline or differing spiritual plane or some other form of real (by our standards) existence. If that much is assumed, the next step is to accept that it is possible to contact these "fictional" people and other realms through some form of intense psychic/mental/emotional/spiritual connection.
SoulBonding is, largely, something that just happens and can't be forced. Many times it comes when folks are writing fanfiction, but other times just seeing character in a game, movie, or television show, or reading a book, is enough to spark the connection (these kinds of (Soul)'Bonds are called "outsourced"). For others, they SoulBond with original characters from their own fictions (many famous authors have claimed this to have happened to them) or role-playing games, and in fact, sometimes the characters come to them first, and then the stories get written (these 'Bonds are called "insourced"). In either case, (Soul)'Bonders often feel compelled to write from the point of view of their 'Bonds. Or let their 'Bonds write instead, however one prefers to think of it.
Many first SoulBonding experiences are described as an "I know them" kind of feeling upon seeing/reading/writing about a character. In some cases, the 'Bonder will be happily writing along when they are overcome by a feeling of the character correcting them ("No, it didn't happen like that"), or the 'Bonder will suddenly have the 'Bond's memories. The initial connection is sometimes that sudden, but other times it grows gradually, starting with am emotional sympathy for a character, or even a romantic/emotional and/or sexual/physical attraction, then moving to actually experiencing the 'Bond as themselves. That is not to say that every 'Bonder always gets along famously with all of their 'Bonds all the time (and yes, oft times once there's one, more tend to show up, possibly from multiple fandoms/canon sources), or that 'Bonders always fantasize about being/sleeping with all their 'Bonds all the time, or even that the 'Bonders even want every 'Bond there.
The 'Bonder's attention may drift in and out of the other realm(s), tuning out the 'Bonds when need be. Of course, some 'Bonds, like some people, are far too persistent at times. Most conversations between 'Bonds and 'Bonders take place in silence, inside the 'Bonder's head, if you will, almost like an inaudible phone call. Sometimes, 'Bond and 'Bonder will meet in an in-between place (often called headspace, or sometimes soulspace or soulscape) and speak "in person."
In some cases, the 'Bond can act and speak through their 'Bonder. This is called "fronting" (as in, the 'Bond is "in front" of the 'Bonder in our reality). Usually, fronting is mutually initiated, although in times of extreme distress for the 'Bonder, a very caring and compassionate 'Bond may "take over" to give the 'Bonder a chance to rest and recuperate. When a 'Bond fronts, some 'Bonders are still aware of their reality, others feel as though they're sleeping or under a trance or deep in meditation or even on that other plane of existence.
The SoulBonding phenomenon does seem to occur more often with females, but it is by no means limited to us (both my parents, in fact, also SoulBond). In my case I have seemed to mostly attract male 'Bonds (and vampires at that), but SoulBonds are not always the opposite sex (or compatible sexual orientation) of the 'Bonder. If one cares to visit my mother's Star Trek "fanfiction" site (I use the quotes because, in actuality, these are stories her 'Bonds have related to her), one will see people of both sexes, and representing a large spectrum of sexual orientations (religious leanings and planetary origins as well). Not all of the individuals listed are 'Bonded to my mother (mostly just the core players, whom Mom calls "the Gang"), but she does have some degree of contact and interaction with many of them.
Some 'Bonders choose to call their 'Bonds "Muses," but I can't personally see using Muse in that way. To me, a Muse is a person or spirit or feeling or Divinity or other entity that provides inspiration. A SoulBond is direct contact with something/someone not of this realm, that may or may not inspire, but is there nonetheless.
To summarize though, there is no set way SoulBonding occurs, and the experience of it is a little different for each 'Bonder. There are phenomenon that are considered to be related to SoulBonding (such as multiplicity, Otherkin/Otakukin, etc.), but are generally accepted to be different experiences. Some 'Bonders consider it a purely spiritual experience, others analyze it scientifically, still others view it as a combination of the two or in some other light.
By posting this, I'm not saying you have to believe every (or even any) word of it. You're perfectly free to think it's all fangirly/boyish poppycock, or just a new manifestation of multiplicity or other such personality-factioning disorders. Or a whole new kind of insanity. Whatever you think about it, all I ask is that you at least respect that this is something I believe very strongly in, that I consider it real and actual. I know and have and love my second father as a result of SoulBonding. It was a very large and important part of my childhood. So believe what you want, but do not berate me for what I believe.
SoulBonding is, largely, something that just happens and can't be forced. Many times it comes when folks are writing fanfiction, but other times just seeing character in a game, movie, or television show, or reading a book, is enough to spark the connection (these kinds of (Soul)'Bonds are called "outsourced"). For others, they SoulBond with original characters from their own fictions (many famous authors have claimed this to have happened to them) or role-playing games, and in fact, sometimes the characters come to them first, and then the stories get written (these 'Bonds are called "insourced"). In either case, (Soul)'Bonders often feel compelled to write from the point of view of their 'Bonds. Or let their 'Bonds write instead, however one prefers to think of it.
Many first SoulBonding experiences are described as an "I know them" kind of feeling upon seeing/reading/writing about a character. In some cases, the 'Bonder will be happily writing along when they are overcome by a feeling of the character correcting them ("No, it didn't happen like that"), or the 'Bonder will suddenly have the 'Bond's memories. The initial connection is sometimes that sudden, but other times it grows gradually, starting with am emotional sympathy for a character, or even a romantic/emotional and/or sexual/physical attraction, then moving to actually experiencing the 'Bond as themselves. That is not to say that every 'Bonder always gets along famously with all of their 'Bonds all the time (and yes, oft times once there's one, more tend to show up, possibly from multiple fandoms/canon sources), or that 'Bonders always fantasize about being/sleeping with all their 'Bonds all the time, or even that the 'Bonders even want every 'Bond there.
The 'Bonder's attention may drift in and out of the other realm(s), tuning out the 'Bonds when need be. Of course, some 'Bonds, like some people, are far too persistent at times. Most conversations between 'Bonds and 'Bonders take place in silence, inside the 'Bonder's head, if you will, almost like an inaudible phone call. Sometimes, 'Bond and 'Bonder will meet in an in-between place (often called headspace, or sometimes soulspace or soulscape) and speak "in person."
In some cases, the 'Bond can act and speak through their 'Bonder. This is called "fronting" (as in, the 'Bond is "in front" of the 'Bonder in our reality). Usually, fronting is mutually initiated, although in times of extreme distress for the 'Bonder, a very caring and compassionate 'Bond may "take over" to give the 'Bonder a chance to rest and recuperate. When a 'Bond fronts, some 'Bonders are still aware of their reality, others feel as though they're sleeping or under a trance or deep in meditation or even on that other plane of existence.
The SoulBonding phenomenon does seem to occur more often with females, but it is by no means limited to us (both my parents, in fact, also SoulBond). In my case I have seemed to mostly attract male 'Bonds (and vampires at that), but SoulBonds are not always the opposite sex (or compatible sexual orientation) of the 'Bonder. If one cares to visit my mother's Star Trek "fanfiction" site (I use the quotes because, in actuality, these are stories her 'Bonds have related to her), one will see people of both sexes, and representing a large spectrum of sexual orientations (religious leanings and planetary origins as well). Not all of the individuals listed are 'Bonded to my mother (mostly just the core players, whom Mom calls "the Gang"), but she does have some degree of contact and interaction with many of them.
Some 'Bonders choose to call their 'Bonds "Muses," but I can't personally see using Muse in that way. To me, a Muse is a person or spirit or feeling or Divinity or other entity that provides inspiration. A SoulBond is direct contact with something/someone not of this realm, that may or may not inspire, but is there nonetheless.
To summarize though, there is no set way SoulBonding occurs, and the experience of it is a little different for each 'Bonder. There are phenomenon that are considered to be related to SoulBonding (such as multiplicity, Otherkin/Otakukin, etc.), but are generally accepted to be different experiences. Some 'Bonders consider it a purely spiritual experience, others analyze it scientifically, still others view it as a combination of the two or in some other light.
By posting this, I'm not saying you have to believe every (or even any) word of it. You're perfectly free to think it's all fangirly/boyish poppycock, or just a new manifestation of multiplicity or other such personality-factioning disorders. Or a whole new kind of insanity. Whatever you think about it, all I ask is that you at least respect that this is something I believe very strongly in, that I consider it real and actual. I know and have and love my second father as a result of SoulBonding. It was a very large and important part of my childhood. So believe what you want, but do not berate me for what I believe.